Things I Don’t Remember

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I went to get a burrito for lunch at taco del mar today. The lady was apparently mildly retarded and couldn’t roll the burrito.  Instead she dumped it into a bowl and told me to eat it with a fork.  All the forks there are now made out of corn or some shit and will bend if you tried to stab water with one. This made eating my fail burrito even more exciting!

I need one of these for when I have had one too many.

Rio & Erin got this for me on their recent camping trip, and yes it is also vegan.

Toyota introduces the i-Real in 2007:

GM introduces the PUMA in 2009:

So it is a bit of an understatement to say I haven’t been to the dentist in a while.  It all started when my previous dentist passed away and upon my first visit to the replacement dentist was told that I needed multiple cavities filled after never having one my entire life. I called bullshit and told him that he was not allowed to randomly drill holes in my head for no reason and never went back.  After that it was a mix of not getting around to finding a dentist, not having insurance, and fear of the impending pain of work needing to be done. The excuses to not go just seemed to snowball out of control.

That brings us to just a few weeks ago when Anna defeated all my excuses of not going and was able to coax me into going to see her  dentist. The first visit would be easy, he was just going to look in my pie hole and see what needed to be done.  I didn’t need the whole lecture about oral health and the damage that was done by not going, I just needed to know what I had in front of me. I was also curious to see if the dentist would allow me on the boat he would be able to buy with all the money he would make off of fixing my teeth.

While I did have to listen to the explanation of why not going to the dentist is bad, the first trip to the dentist was easy. They did in fact just look in my mouth and the damage was far less than I  had expected. The dentist also seemed surprised given the circumstances.  What I ended up with is 1 cavity, needing a good cleaning, and needing my wisdom teeth removed, all of which were impacted.  However, the special bonus was that the cavity that I had was in one of my wisdom teeth that was going to come out anyways.

Without delay they started talking to me about the pre-op and post-0p steps for getting my wisdom teeth removed. It was all pretty standard stuff until they started talking about the state I would be in during the procedure. Apparently what they were going to do for me was something called “conscious sedation” which since it had the word “conscious” in it freaked me out a bit.  They then explained to me that, in short, I would take a lot of drugs and not remember anything about the operation, but I would still be responsive if they asked me to do something like open my mouth. This still tripped me out a bit but as long as I didn’t remember any of it, great.  They scheduled the appointment, told me they would call the prescriptions to my pharmacy and that was that.

The day before my appointment I got the call that my prescriptions were called into my pharmacy but I had to stop by the office to pick up the prescription for the pain killers as they wouldn’t do that over the phone.  So after swinging by the dentist office we headed over to the pharmacy to get my medicine, which I was instructed to bring with me the next day.  I have never spent so long in a pharmacy in my entire life.  I dropped off my written prescription and waited for them to fill it. 20 minutes later they call my name and I go to pick it up. However when I went to retrieve my drugs they just had my pain medicine ready. I explained to them that I should have more that were called in that morning. They searched and searched and couldn’t find them. The pharmacist then said “oh wait, I got that call this morning but haven’t filled it yet.” …. more waiting.

It was at this point I realized how weird people who visit rite aid and do actual shopping are. There was a man who looked like a restarted version of Carl from aqua teen hunger force.  He was looking at some items on the shelf while halfway squatting  with a strained look on his face. The first thing I thought  is that he was about the have an “accident” and that I wished my phone would record video. He would pick something off the shelf look at it, sigh, and then toss it back at the shelf like he was playing a game of ring toss at the creepy guy Olympics.  This went on a few times until something else caught his attention and he wandered off. There were various other weird looking people wandering around.. but they just looked weird.

So after waiting for a total of an hour they called my name again and I went to pick up my drugs and see what I was in for… that’s when they pulled out the basket.  Sedatives, steroids, pain killers, all sorts of fun stuff. I was kind of overwhelmed that I would be taking it all.  The person checking me out asked “Do you know how to take these?” as if it was my regular medication. I then told him what they were for and that the dentist would be the one explaining the stuff to me, I was just playing the part of the courier in the meantime.

The next morning I woke up and took two halcion as instructed and that’s where things started to get a little fuzzy. I sorta remember getting in the car and having Anna drive over to the dentist office. I remember waiting in the waiting room and being led back to the chair. The next memory I had was waking up to the feeling of my tooth being forcibly ripped out of my jaw which was not a very pleasant thing to wake up to. After it popped out I drifted back into a drug coma. Next time I woke up it was to the feeling of another tooth being forcibly ripped out of my jaw. Once again, not very pleasant. Only this time the force caused a piece of what I assumed to be my tooth to be hurled towards my throat. I then heard the dentist ask “Where did it go?” the nurse responded “He swallowed it.” However it was not the cases I somehow caught it in the back of my mouth and was able to roll it up my tongue for them… skills. That was all I remembered until I was at home on the couch with ice on my face.

After that the next few days were a blur of being fed pills and watching movies only to realize that i had dozed off in the middle and missed half of it. I then weened myself off of the oxycontin and eventually returned to eating normal foods. I still have some discomfort but its on its way out and tomorrow I am scheduled to get my stitches removed. So the moral of the story is when someone says “conscious sedation” make sure your ass is knocked completely out.

So delicious

This years release of the Abyss from Deschutes is a little more hoppy and thinner than last years. It should be intresitng to do a side by side comparason on Thanksgiving.